SATURDAY THE 14TH (1981)

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Written & Directed By: Howard R. Cohen 
Story By: Jeff Begun 
Cinematography: Daniel Lacambre 
Editor: Kent Beyda & Joanne D’Antonio

Cast: Richard Benjamin, Paula Prentiss, Jeffrey Tambor, Kari Michaelsen, Kevin Brando, Severn Darden, Roberta Collins 

Primarily a spoof of the Friday the 13th series, but also takes shots at several other horror films. After his family moves to a new house, a young boy discovers a mysterious book describing the curse hanging over the date of Saturday the 14th. Opening the book releases a band of monsters into the house, and the family must join together to save themselves and their neighborhood.

This was a movie that I would always see the poster or the box for when I went to video stores as a kid but never pulled the trigger to rent it. That now later in life I finally got a chance to catch up with.

If I saw this as a kid I wonder if the film would have been funny to me with its goofy humor and spoof spirit. That for all its failing would make it a nostalgic favorite.

As I watch it now the movie is terrible all around. It has a loose non-existent plot. It’s not funny and the monsters all seem to be wearing obvious costume suits. The film makes little sense and just seems to try to string together scenes and find an excuse for a monster to come forth.

Not that it was ever In Danger of being scary. You hope that once in a while it will at least be funny, but most of the time it seems like they are throwing jokes against the wall to see what will work and none of it does. Instead, it keeps making a mess.

One would hope with the names in the cast there would be something redeeming about the film and a reason they would say yes to being in the film. Unfortunately, there isn’t.

Richard Benjamin’s character never seems to see any of the obvious things happening around him or at least never acknowledges it and then when finally when gets on the page with the other characters he never quite seems to react 

The film isn’t even fun to sit through. Though it must have had some kind of success as it had a sequel several years later.

Grade: F

99 FRANCS (2007)

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Directed By: Jan Kounen
Written By: Jan Kounen, Bruno Lavaine & Nicolas Charlet
Based On the book by Frederic Beigbeder
Cinematography: David Ungaro
Editor: Anny Danche

Cast: Jean Dujardin, Vahina Giocante, Jocelyn Quivrin, Patrick Mille, Elisa Tovati, Nicolas Marie, Dominique Bettenfeld

The life of Octave Parango, a flamboyant ad designer, is filled with success, satire, misery, and love.

I will admit I hated this film for the first half hour and then slowly learned to go with its Rhythms. Still don’t really like the film but appreciate what was intended and tried to be.


A dark comedic satire that tries to send up advertisement agencies and seeks to have sex and drugs on the brain most of the time. As the debauchery never seems as happy as it should and half the time passes for entertainment here. The film comes across as stylish but as a fad. Definitely, a disposable product of its time.

This feels like a film where the details feel like add on’s. As the film aspires at first to be so smooth.

Leaving it hard to care for not only the lead characters but most of them. Sure living a life most might want but still despicable and empty.

The film ends up feeling too slick for its own good. As it comes off pretentious and empty though purports to be about something in the end, a kind of redemption of a character who doesn’t seem worth it and only does it out of revenge.

The two female characters in the movie are the only ones we care about for many reasons. Once they are fetishized throughout and presented mroe as sexual objects. Who has no false airs about them, but we end up caring about them. Throughout no matter what they keep it real.

Their characters are important. As they are barely on screen and used more for erotic scenes than any other. Yet their presence can be felt when they are not on screen after their introductions.

They are one of the few times the film becomes of interest.

The film has the writer of the novel that it is based on appearing in trippy scenes as the mirror version of the main character as an inside joke.

This makes sense as this seems like a project that was greenlit and rushed into production upon a popular best-seller at the time in France.

The film seems to occasionally try to redeem itself while occasionally being interesting due to the practical visual effects.

As the film is a tragedy where like all advertising tries to show and distract like it’s all good and then you truly find out what has been behind it all. What it was afraid to tell and show. Where it tries to show depth and where a reckless life of excess Can lead to, unlike most films that see characters screw up and be likable. Then end up paying little penance yet stay the same only now paid for their crimes… Almost instead it offers many fake-out endings that feel cruel and mean-spirited also like the film has tried to point out and manipulate the whole time. As that is what it was made for.

Though it does have a revenge comeuppance for who the film sees as even worse and makes sure we do too.

The whole point of this film seems to be exposing the business and going back to basics, but even that offers a twist. That would go along with Miserables, overwrought cinema seeking to be daring.

The film offers plenty of natural beauty in the end compared to all the ugliness we have seen throughout.

It seems to end with a choose your own adventure ambiguous ending. That lets You decide but acknowledges itself as a product.

Grade: C

ARE WE NOT CATS (2016)

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Written & Directed By: Xander Robin  Cinematography: Matt Clegg  Editor: Xander Robin & Dustin Waldman

Cast: Chelsea Lopez, Michael Godere, Michael Patrick Nicholson, Charles Gould, Adeline Thery, Alice Frank, Dean Haletermann 

After losing his job, girlfriend, and home in a single day, a desperate thirty-something accepts a delivery job in a remote upstate backwater. There he meets a beguiling and mysterious young woman with whom he shares a strange obsession.

This is one of those films that counts on you going in blind. As best to experience thought not sure if it is ultimately worth it.

The film at first feels quirky and becomes a junkie drama out of nowhere. As the film has a solid beginning then it seems to get lost throughout the rest of the film. Even when it tries to have a somewhat romantic narrative that is strange. 

The film feels aimless and constantly not about anything except we keep following the leader wherever he goes and pretty soon we are grabbing at straws at any scene where it looks like a story could emerge. As we want to see where this is all going.

As the lead seems pretty simple and clueless most of the time. 

The film eventually offers up enough to keep you interested, but then feels aimless and goes nowhere.

As we meet characters who seem normal but get bizarre as the film goes along and at times it just feels like the film is purposely forcing itself to be strange to try and entice the audience. 

The filmmaking feels well done but ultimately feels confusing on purpose. At one point, the film and its Characters seem to be speaking their own language and the character’s actions make sense only to them.

As a Major point eventually, the characters start sporting hairlines similar to Anjelica Huston’s witch character in the movie THE WITCHES. Because of a shared hair obsession.

This ultimately feels like a student film Thesis with more resources.

GRADE: D

NORMAN LOVES ROSE (1982)

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Written & Directed By: Henri Safran 
Cinematography: Vincent Monton
Editor: Don Saunders 

Cast: Carol Kane, Tony Owen, Barry Otto, David Downer, Warren Mitchell, Sandy Gore, Virginia Hey, Myra De Groot, Louise Pajo

A teenage boy falls hopelessly in love with his new sister-in-law. When she gets pregnant, someone raises the question that he might be the father–a notion he does nothing to discourage.

This is one of those films I remember the poster and box art from video stores that I frequented as a youth. Not blockbusters, more the mom-and-pop independent ones.

Never got to see it as a kid when most interested and remembered but finally recently got to see it. I believe I would have had more patience for it when I was younger. As it basically plays like a young teen fantasy come to life of romancing an older woman who you have a crush on. Only here not only does the dream come true but so do the consequences of that action and they are not all that one would expect.

The main drawing power for this film is that Carol Kane is the star of the film. Which is rare In itself and the production takes place in Australia. Wished she had gotten more lead roles instead of this misfire. As she is a constantly appealing screen presence only misused and wasted in this film. 

The film is supposed to be a comedy yet it’s never really funny and just not that good. Yet very 1980’s with a catchy main theme song. Not only is it in bad taste especially by today’s standards. It’s also very problematic.

A woman having an affair with her husband’s 12-year-old little brother is supposed to be romantic. You can understand the little brother’s actions but you question the woman is she a pedophile? starving for attention that she doesn’t get from her husband? sex crazed due to lack of sexual attention? or just in need to get pregnant. The film never answers that question and leaves the audience to answer a question they really don’t want to.

The film tries to be an ensemble film about a Jewish family but feels like it tries to invent drama where there isn’t in trying to frame it’s main plot. Worse of all it comes off dull.

Can see what the interest might have been at the time, a kind of taboo comedy that luckily doesn’t show but hints at a lot. Though it also makes you wonder who was the audience for this film overall.

As it’s not a teen movie, nor a sex comedy of T and A proportions. Nor is it exploitive, it at least tries to make the relationship look romantic. 

The brother even suspects the wrong person of having an affair due to the infidelity of his business partner. This leads to confusion for his character and ends up being the most abused throughout for very little reason. 

His father actually comes off as the most dramatic and sympathetic. In fact, throughout the film, the only character who seems to have a good head on their shoulders is the brother’s mistress.

The ending shows you the depth of young love and how quickly one can bounce their feelings to a new partner. As he seems to be a serial seducer with his innocence but now worldly ways. While it leaves her husband’s character in a kind of limbo

GRADE: F

CRIME & PUNISHMENT IN SUBURBIA (2000)

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Directed By: Rob Schmidt 

Written By: Larry Gross

Cinematography: Bobby Bukowski 

Editor: Gabriel Wyre 

Cast: Monica Keena, Vincent Kartheiser, James DeBello, Jeffrey Wright, Ellen Barkin, Michael Ironside, Conchata Ferrell, Lucinda Jenney, Marshall Teague, Nicki Aycox, Bonnie Somerville 

This is a contemporary fable loosely based on Fyodor Dostoyevsky’s “Crime and Punishment”. Roseanne is outwardly a perfect and popular teen. However, her image is hiding the abuse at her stepfather’s hands, and she decides to take revenge. The events that follow are a mix of dark humor and an exploration of modern morality as Roseanne faces not only a fellow suburbanite who knows, but her own conscience as well.

This film is better than expected considering its title. As the film is artfully shot with plenty of vivid colors and surreal imagery and scenes.

This is a pulp-ish tale that involves teenagers that sounds like a recipe for disaster but is actually not your typical teen tale. It is told with some thrills but in a mature way.

Where the teens seem more adult and responsible than the adults taking care of them. Though Michael Ironsides is the villain he paints a human under the evil that shows why and how he ended up that way.

Though partially you should feel sorry for Ellen Barkin’s character. She is almost as evil as the monster she runs away from but leaves her daughter to deal with while selfishly escaping while never looking back.

The film is deeper than most audiences might expect. 

The weakness of the film is the same weakness that messed up its marketing. Dooming it to an unforgettable oddity In the home video (at the time) market.

The reason I saw it originally was that it played at the movie theater I was working at. I ended up watching it more than once. As for me, the trailer was hypnotizing and dramatic. 

The film tries to have its cake and eat it too. Appearing dramatic but is filmed as glossy with distracting camera angles and tricks. Plus rapid editing works fewer times than it actually does.

Monica Keena gives haunting beautiful big eyes that convey her emotions. Yet also show the power she has as a seductress for certain characters.

Vincent Kartheiser is off best and yet believable as the boy next door obsessed with her. Sure he has shades of Wes Bentley in AMERICAN BEAUTY (Which this Film seems Inspired by) but this seems a bit more accessible. While it is intoxicating as you watch it. It might be forgettable afterward. As in the end, it becomes too much of an open and shut case though with hints of ambivalence. 

Grade: B-

VIOLET (2014)

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Written & Directed By: Bas Devos

Cinematography: Nicolas Karakatsanis

Editor: Dieter Diependaele

Cast: Cesar De Sutter, Koen De Sutter, Mira Helmer, Brent Minne, Fania Sorel

15-year-old Jesse is the only one who witnessed the stabbing of his friend Jonas. Now he has to face his family and friends form the BMX riders crew and explain the unexplainable – how he feels about it.

If not Into impressionistic and experimental films this is not the film for you.

As it seems as not much happens and everything happens as we watch a young teen come to grips with his feelings about witnessing his friends endlessly get murdered and we see how this murder affects those around him including the victim’s family but not much happens and everything happens

Obviously heavy emotionally we see the pain and feelings on others’ faces but the main. Teen is expressionless either trying to come. To grips with his feelings or trying to feel something as very one is expecting it but doesn’t know howS

If you look, For a more Plot centered film, this is not for you. If you want to watch a study in grief where the film keeps a slow pace and is more about the everyday this is for you.

There are some striking shots and visuals but that is all there is as the film feels simplistic but wants to show a certain depth. It achieves what it aims for and while some might be able to get something or at least what they seek out of it.

It personally leaves one cold. A slice of Life and a sort of coming of age that for a film that showcases life feels lifeless itself. 

As less like witnessing and just watching a bunch of shots comes together that might have been glorious b roll footage for another film. Though at least here it has some kind of meaning for you to take away. Define for yourself 

Plotless and lacking any kind of dramatics at least traditionally almost like improv where you are meant to assign what they are thinking or feeling by little clues as to their expressions or behavior 

Though an audience is left to see the film’s worth. As the film does try to connect but leaves you to pick up the pieces.

So it is almost like the lead character who will not give anyone anything emotionally but as we are connected to him as our protagonist we try to figure him out abs kind of put our own thoughts and concerns on display in our minds 

Some could easily call this lazy filmmaking but the filmmaker is more interested in getting a reaction from the audience that the film lacks by letting visuals and sound linger more than anything documenting with a cinematic flair rather than aiming the story or narrative in any particular way or direction.

Depending on. What you came to the film for Will predict your interpretation or any kind of entertainment/enjoyment you might get.

This is more of a film. To be studied and presented at a museum as an exhibit  than anything else traditional 

Throughout it seems that like the lead, No one Knows how to communicate really. 

Alas it feels like you are sitting around for a scene or a moment where it all makes sense or just idiots that you have been sitting through and it never comes 

A lot of lingering shots of nothing really happening that individuals come to nothing but as a whole might come together to mean something or at least that is my interpretation. 

A Movie that director Gus Van Sant would have loved to have made. A movie where it seems like the filmmaker wants you to do most of the work like CACHE.

As this is just a presentation and they want you to come up with what you think it’s about and connect things in your own way

Grade: C

LET ME MAKE YOU A MARTYR (2016)

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Written & Directed By: Corey Asraf & John Swab 

Cinematography: Jeff Melanson 

Editor: Corey Asraf & Dylan Quirt 

Cast: Niko Nicotera, Sam Quartin, Mark Boone Junior, Marilyn Manson, William Lee Scott, Michael Potts, Gore Abrams, Megan Mattox, Danny Boy O’Connor, Michael Sheamus 

A cerebral revenge film about two adopted siblings who fall in love, and hatch a plan to kill their abusive father.

At first, if you are a fan of the television show SONS OF ANARCHY you will notice four of the actors from that show are in this film. A kind of reunion playing the same type of characters 

The mood of the film is a lot like that show and TRUE DETECTIVE mixed where the characters here are flawed and most are reprehensible. As they are all either criminals, addicts, or low lives, and the only innocence in the film is sniffed out quickly.

Though the film will make you believe there is beauty in this darkness you just have to try and see it. Throughout the film will try to make each scene filled with some kind of depth or philosophical wonder.

At heart, there is a love story that can never be fulfilled or allowed.

As most of this film Feels like a crime story though it doesn’t have those thrills. There are no scenes of hold-ups or even planning of scores even for all of its Violence which never quite feels unnecessary. Though you wish more was happening.

The most striking character who walks away with the film is the hitman played by Marilyn Manson who seems to have Seen it all.

So much that nothing phases him and he really has no loyalty but isn’t going to shoot you in the back for no reason either.

At times the film chooses to play with the timeline and the film does feel enriched to a certain Degree. You only wish the story was stronger to give us some reason to care more and to get more involved in the film.  As it seems to have the necessities but not the goods. 

Grade: C

10 TO MIDNIGHT (1983)

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Story & Directed By: J. Lee Thompson 

Written By: William Roberts 

Cinematography: Adam Greenberg 

Editor: Peter Lee-Thompson 

Cast: Charles Bronson, Lisa Eilbacher, Andrew Stevens, Gene Davis, Geoffrey Lewis, Wilford Brimley, Robert Lyons, Ola Ray, Kelly Preston, Beau Billingslea, Bert Williams 

An LAPD detective and his rookie partner are on the trail of a psychopathic young man who is murdering young women.

I have recently been trying to catch up On Charles Bronson’s films besides his known classics. Glad I started with this one, where one can get an understanding of his appeal and charm. As he kind of Constantly Has a Clint Eastwood kind of stoicism where he must always be tough and gruff but always seems to have a good heart. 

The film has a cool-sounding title that unfortunately means nothing when it comes to the plot of the movie. Though As you watch the film this is a movie more built around a star and his image. 

Unfortunately, the films he was in he was usually better than the material and they weren’t as memorable as other films at the box office or less seen. As his films particularly in the 1980’s feel familiar and just cheaper than his contemporaries. Sort of like if there were Arnold Schwarzenegger, Sylvester Stallone, and Bruce Willis at the time. He would be the straight-to-home video version of them as a peer. Sort of like Chuck Norris films at the time. 

This film presents him more in his later years where he is in more in a modern time where things seem more disposable and cheap. 

While the film isn’t a western it feels like one with the anti-hero, a hero of very few words. He is smarter than most around him, but also a man of action more than anything. As he even does the right thing which is understandable in the film Context but horrible in reality. As he breaks the law for the right reasons but really for his own purposes. That has consequences and Places a moral quandary In the middle of the film. It also allows him to better set a trap.

Throughout Charles Bronson comes off as mroe subdued the opposite of Gene Davis who plays the killer as more over the top. Though the film offers good one-liners and good back and forth between characters especially Bronson, Andrew Stevens, and Lisa Eilbacher who plays his daughter. 

The film comes off as sleazy and exploitative. As whenever there is a murder. As the killer is naked to not leave behind any evidence supposedly. His victims usually young women are often killed in the nude. Which makes the killings feel More Cruel and sadistic more like sexual assaults than anything. The film Spells out Early and the film Doesn’t Present it subtlety Either with him even saying that the knife is like a penis and he gets to penetrate them. 

The film does have the feeling of 1980‘s excess with the graphic violence and nudity. Which seems there to please the Audience more than anything. Charles Bronson is so Cool though he can even be forgiven for his more comical running at the end. 

Happy to see that the film is more of a Thriller than an action film. Even if at times it feels more like an episode of a police procedural. Though it sets up Bronson’s tough attitude at the Beginning with a Scene that Is supposed to be comedic. As throughout the film Bronson is shown to be more old school and Seems Stuck in a time where everything is kind of new wave or a victim Of modern-day politics of law and order.

Kind of a little of the death wish Mentality that got him a fan base of more blue-collar guys with that same kind of mentality that modern-day Risks and culture are too soft and tie The hands of law enforcement and Seem To care more about the criminals’ feelings and rights.

The last act becomes more of a massacre that feels like it belongs more in a horror film. 

The film is pretty open and shut but stays entertaining throughout. The film ends up better than expected despite itself. I Hope More of his films are like this. 

Grade: B

ANGEL (1983)

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Directed By: Robert Vincent O’Neil 

Written By: Robert Vincent O’Neil & Joseph M. Cala 

Cinematography: Andrew Davis 

Editor: Charles Bornstein 

Cast: Donna Wilkes, Cliff Gorman, Susan Tyrell, Dick Shawn, Rory Calhoun, John Diehl, Elaine Giftos, Steven M. Porter, Donna McDaniel, Graem McGavin, Mel Carter 

Molly, a high schooler, secretly earns her living as Angel, a street prostitute whose only family and friends are the ones she works with on the streets. She has to survive against a serial killer who is targeting people of her profession.

Part of the charm of the film is watching it years after and quite removed from the time period. So that you can look back at the film as some kind of nostalgic timepiece. As it is a b-movie thriller from a time period. Where certain taboos are explored freely without the film centering around them or being a savior film. So to speak. 

While the film is exploitive as far as nudity and violence. It luckily doesn’t delve into dirty or perverted looking for cheap thrills. Even if it does have plenty of sleaze to it. It treats prostitution more as professional and. It as something for the audience to watch or glimpse as entertainment. 

As the film could have been worse. The film sticks to begin as a thriller with some melodrama thrown in. As it goes more for drama. As we spend a lot of time with the characters including the killer. So that there is no mystery to it. We only wonder when the killer will strike next. While getting to know the victims shortly before their demise. Not to mention the stakes and emotions it brings forth in the characters in these situations. 

After all the characters are what the film has going for it. As all of them are a bit off, but entertaining, interesting, and funny with rich histories that we wonder about but are rarely fully informed of. The film is more devoted to them than occasionally remember it’s a thriller 

As they are colorful and the actors portraying them. Are like their characters survive the spirit of classic Hollywood left around as it deteriorated and is forgotten. 

There is a sweetness to the title character ANGEL. Surprisingly an innocent, hustling and working the streets and leading a double life full of secrets. She has managed to handle it all. Until it all starts to crumble and then she realizes she might be in over when head. Especially when her secrets begin to unravel. Donna Wilkes in the title role does well. It’s a shame she never returned to the role in the sequels. Though considering their quality it was actually a blessing in disguise.

Can see the film as somewhat a little mroe shocking and controversial at the time. This film can also be seen as a look at the street performers of all kinds in Hollywood at the time. As that is the culture the film takes place in. 

The crime element is more basic and entertaining and staged well. Not the most exciting part of the movie. As the film works but it never quite comes alive. It just passes along. 

Where are they now? As they seem to have been left Dick Shawn is more playing an original character. Whereas Rory Calhoun is more playing a version of himself 

GRADE: C+

CHAINED HEAT (1983)

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Directed By: Paul Nicholas
Written By: Paul Nicholas & Vincent Mongol 
Cinematography: Mac Ahlberg 
Editor: Nino Di Marco

Cast: Linda Blair, John Vernon, Sybil Danning, Tamara Dobson, Stella Stevens, Henry Silva, Sharon Hughes, Louisa Moritz, Robert Miano, Nina Talbot 

Young Carol Henderson ends up in prison where she must learn how to survive in an environment plagued by violence, murder, rape, racism, drugs and staff corruption and brutality.

This is so sleazy this can almost be a set-up for a porno film. There is enough sexual innuendo and nudity for it. Luckily the plot and characters take over and make it into an overall b-movie exploitation film. That does go over the top in a couple of places but stays entertaining. 

This is an exploitation classic that is dirty and cheesy. Where few characters are actually good as all are pretty bad some just happen to be worse and some actually have hearts. 

There is action but the film seems more concerned with what it chooses to sell itself on with see and nudity and when there is action it is certainly violent. 

The shocking aspect of these types of films is that it exploits their Female characters’ looks and bodies, but by the end try to come off as a female empowerment tale full of feminism. That feels only there to give the film some likable appeal and give the female prisoner characters something and someone to fight against other than each other eventually. 

I will admit this is another Linda Blair revelation film for me. As I slowly go through her film

Appearances and performances. Showing she is quite an adept actress who is more than a one-hot wonder of sorts from THE EXORCIST. Though for a time period she was at least still getting more leading roles. 

If you are a film fan this is a feast of a kind of character actor and b-movie all-star cast. 

Grade: C+