ETERNAL BEAUTY (2019)

Written & Directed By: Craig Roberts 

Cinematography: Kit Fraser 

Editor: Stephen Haren 

Cast: Sally Hawkins, David Thewlis, Billie Piper, Alice Lowe, Myfford Clark, Rita Bernard-Shaw, Robert Pugh, Paul Hilton, Penelope Wilton

This movie follows Jane who, after being left at the altar, had a breakdown spiraled into a chaotic episode of schizophrenia lasting 20 years, in which love (both real and imagined) and family relationships collide. Things change when she begins a darkly-comic romance with Mike, a failed musician and fellow lost soul.

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Though it got no major release. Sally Hawkins’s performance in ETERNAL BEAUTY is amazing. Better & bigger than the movie, but the movie is what she needed to truly show her talents and as a showcase. Give the movie a chance. A deep look at mental illness.

The film isn’t bad but it feels like the runway for her character and performance to launch off. It works as a kind of case study file but where we get to see the outside influences that have helped to contribute to her mental illnesses. 

Not that Ms. Hawkins hasn’t Had plenty of great roles and performances since seemingly being introduced with the film HAPPY GO LUCKY. Thougbbshe had been in plenty of movies, television and theatrical productions prior. That film seemed to be her breakout role 

The film takes a Look at her paranoid schizophrenic character with a horrible family who only seems to inspire her condition to make it worse with their indifference or Using her  Where only one Family Member truly seems concerned but that character is influenced more by the rest of the family. To look the other way. Which also causes problems within her marriage. 

The first half plays out like a tragedy and the second act is more of a romance where the colors get richer and the style of the film becomes a little more surrealistic. It also becomes a bit happier though still downtrodden but hopeful 

It helps if the material is strong enough for them to base a performance on mention as they get older more is expected of them or a certain legacy is on them, and it is hard to live up to especially when you were just trying to do the work and work and more and more you’re not getting the roles you used to and the writing isn’t as strong. 

As the film goes along we learn that each of her family members has their drama  And dysfunctions as the film doesn’t  Seek to villainize any characters but shows them as human beings fallible 

The film is Advertised more as a romantic comedy between two people with mental illnesses it is deeper than that as it was kind of bait to hook More mainstream tastes seem more conventional for audiences. 

Grade: B

THE MACHINE (2023)

Directed By: Peter Atecino

Written By: Kevin Biegel and Scotty Landes

Cinematography: Eigil Bryld

Editor: Eleanor Infante 

Cast: Bert Kreischer, Mark Hamill, Jimmy Tatro, Iva Babic, Robert Maaser, Stephanie Kurtzuba, Martyn Ford, Jessica Gabor, Rita Bernard Shaw, Oleg Taktarov 

Bert’s drunken past catches up with him 20 years down the road when he and his father are kidnapped by those Bert wronged 20 years ago while drunk on a college semester abroad in Russia.


While this is another comedian Bert Kreischer taking from his stand-up and making a movie out of it, or at least part of his stand this one actually kind of works a little deeper as a presents itself as a sophomore, action comedy. At times the humor is juvenile, but in the end, it’s all about taking responsibility and trying to do the best for your kids. Not to mention the complicated relationships families can have. Especially when trying to either honor or prove yourself.

it also focuses on a father and son relationship and bonding that I’ve done well, I am a sucker for. Which, at least, gives this film some kind of depth.

So, while the action scenes are serviceable and not entirely impressive, they do help break up the film and add a little bit more excitement to it. 

As Director, Peter Atecino is more of a noted comedy Director. He does OK with the action sequences.

It’s nice to see Mark Hamill on the big screen and not only doing a voice acting role or just some extension of either playing himself or a Star Wars movie 

I will admit to being a partial Bert Kreischer fan as I have seen many of his online antics. I have listened to his podcast. I’ve read his book and he just seems like the type of guy you might wanna hang out with or if you do, something memorable who just seems to collect those moments

It’s cloudy how his drinking superpowers sort of make him invincible in flashbacks. It just shows I’m taking off her shirt and getting drunk and not performing any particularly that define hacks, though it does seem like if anything it just gives him more drunk courage which, in the end, helps him out as an adult, living up to the legend And being not work.

He and Mark Hamill have great chemistry as Burt plays a version of himself that makes the film a little meta–

Not to mention have to give credit to a found that feels like a 1980s over-the-top action comedy with a scene right out of a Schwarzenegger movie where he literally uses a machine gun just to light his cigar in the middle of a battle. I can imagine Arnold Schwarzenegger watching that and thinking why didn’t I do that makes me a little jealous.

It’s a Film worth taking a chance on, it’s entertaining, and it’s not gonna change your world. If you’re a fan of Hays, you should enjoy it but it’s not something that is going to lay in your memory for a long time, it’s a Film for his audience or a nice introduction to who he is.

In the end, the film is more silly than anything else

Grade: C