OFFICER DOWNE (2016)

Directed By: Shawn Crahan 
Written By: Joe Casey 
Cinematography By: Gerardo Madrazo 
Editor: Meg Ramsay 
Production Design: Jeremy Reed 
Art Direction: Anton Tremblay 
Cast: Kim Coates, Lauren Velez, Sam Witwer, Meadow Williams, Mark Neveldine, Reno Wilson, Tracy Vilar, Alison Lohman 

Based on the Man of Action/Image Comics original graphic novel created by Joe Casey and Chris Burnham, written by Joe Casey, about a police officer who can’t be stopped by death so he returns to the streets time and time again to fight crime.


An opening scene that offers sex and Nudity for no other reason than it just seems to go a long with the cliches of the material and to at least have that In the film which might help viewership. Though doesn’t offer much of later.

Only in glimpses and really has nothing to do with the story other than to have an inside joke of an orgasm counter. Which pretty much sets up the type of film you will be watching. As it’s not clever. Nor does it try to include anything as jokey as it again. So after watching the opening scene at least you know what you are in for and if you wish to proceed. At least you were warned. As it doesn’t get any better.

The film tries too hard To be offensive. It Feels like a combination of bigger budgeted Troma studios film mixed with ROBOCOP (just as nihilistic but without the satire) and the animated AXE COP series. Even though I know it is based on a graphic novel. It feels like it as the film is continuously episodic though gathers no real excitement and the world it takes place in makes no sense and seems outrageous and colorful just to be with no real reasoning behind it.

It obviously owes a debt to the CRANK movies which this film shares co-director and co- writer of Those films Mark Neveldine here as a cast member and one of the producers of the films. The film also has cast member Rob McHenley Who suffers the same fate in this film as he does in the CRANK movies and seems deemed to keep co-Starring in dark violent over the top comedies that make it to the screen. One wouldn’t expect less from one of the creators and cast members of IT’S ALWAYS SUNNY IN PHILADELPHIA.

The film is directed by Shawn Crahan of the band SLIPNOT a band that is heavy metal and he film feels like one of their songs or videos come to life. As it has a rocking soundtrack that always seems loud and has a rather nihilistic world view. That seems more exploitive and explosive, but never exactly tries to turn it down but never reaches the volume it clearly wants and seems building to.

Seems to want to be adrenaline pumping throughout. Though comes off more like a teenage boys wet dream, with Over the top violence and gratuitous sex. Three members of Slipknot make cameos in this movie. Corey Taylor as Headcase Harry, DJ Sid Wilson as a Thug and Percussionist Chris Fehn as Vulture

The film feels like it doesn’t have any reason or point to make. So it comes off more Like a fan film with It’s low budget quick cutting action sequences, quick editing and just off the wall humor. That seems like it was more intended as a highlight reel with a stitched together plot. That makes one believe this Seems like it would make an interesting short or even a series to go into more detail and explore this strange reality that the film takes place in as well as offering plenty of side stories.

I Wanted to like the film. As I enjoy the CRANK movies way more than I should, but this film leave one with a feeling of been there, done That and seen it before. that makes it feel like a copy rather then fresh even though it has it’s own original storyline. It also is barely 90 minutes and feels long. At least the CRANK movies while ridiculous knew how to keep the audience entertained and following along.

Though the CRANK movies were better maid and seemed to have a point and somewhat of a story. As this film only offers more do the same continuously while trying to seem like there is more to it.

I mean this film has killer Nuns and animalsor at least people in animal masks as gang leaders. Yet while fun it still never rises to the proper amount of lunacy. It reaks of attempts. Not out of passion. More like it was made up as it went along. Where the thinking was let’s include whatever silly thing we can think of to really mess with the audiences sanity.

I am usually always glad to see Kim Coates working. He is one of my favorite character actors. Usually playing villains of somebody of questionable morals. It is impressive here to see him Play a hero cop for once, of course one who is more extreme is not entirely surprising.

Also as a fan of Kim Coates I was more than willing to give the move a chance and actress Alison Lohman. Who I haven’t seen in anything in awhile who was once Hollywood’s new it girl. Disappointed in her small role in this film which might be a blessing as she might not have wanted to be too much in the film and be considered one of the major stars of it. As she is more in a small supporting role. It sets out to be a cult genre film and is mildly successful. Though it tries too hard and surpasses it’s aim and meaning. Especailly after starring a few years in the box office hit DRAG ME TO HELL

Though not a total failure. It’s not something I can imagine anyone wanting to see again more than once.

It’s an outsider film that seems desperate to fit in or gain an audience. As it does feel like a film made of youth and that is who it seems designed to appeal to. It’s Addicted more to cheap spectacle rather then detail.

The film is shot like a porno Film. There is always plenty of action. Only they use use the gore and violence as a kind of money shot with plenty of releases throughout.

Though this film is episodic and feels like informing the audience of an origin. The villains while a challenge, don’t seem that hard to defeat. So while predictable there is no suspense. Which is a shame as the film has all the ingredients. But the formula fails. This film makes like HARDCORE HARRY all the more impressive and fun.

Grade: D

FANTASY ISLAND (2020)

Directed By: Jeff Wadlow
Written By Jeff Wadlow, Chris Roach & Jillian Jacobs 
Based on the television series “FANTASY ISLAND” Created By: Gene Levitt  Cinematography: Toby Oliver 
Editor: Sean Albertson

Cast: Michael Pena, Maggie Q, Lucy Hale, Portia Doubleday, Jimmy O. Yang, Ryan Hansen, Mike Vogel, Austin Stowell, Kim Coates, Michael Rooker, Robbie Jones, Parisa Fitz-Hanley, Ian Roberts

The enigmatic Mr. Roarke makes the secret dreams of his lucky guests come true at a luxurious but remote tropical resort. But when the fantasies turn into nightmares, the guests have to solve the island’s mystery in order to escape with their lives.


don’t know exactly who the audience for this film is supposed to be. Though whoever it is I am sure wasn’t envisioning a horror film.

The film sticks to the horns of fantasy island whereas the guests get to live out their fantasies only with some kind of twists involved that they didn’t foresee. 

The film is rather simplistic but thinks It’s clever by having a big reveal. Only to take away any credit it might have built up which was little, to begin with. As it feels generic. 

This might have been noteworthy if made in an earlier era. Which it feels like it comes from more than the 1990s. Though now instead of high concept it feels like a horror script thrown into a familiar tv show, for recognition and comes off as disposable and barely noteworthy.

It’s a shame because the film has a good cast. At least it gives actors who are usually relegated to supporting roles some room to shine even if the film is an ensemble. 

Should have been suspicious when seeing Michael Pena in the lead as he is a good actor, but always seems tied to these disappointing cinematic reboots of more niche television shows, that you would never imagine becoming films. 

Though the premises of fantasies seem kind of simple and then once the twists come. They seem to come from shows and movies we have seen before. Especially the revenge fantasy involving the bully from childhood. Where all of a sudden a monstrous huge surgeon becomes a slasher. 

I can understand if it was just trying to be the greatest common denominator entertainment but here other than the lush visuals of the landscapes. The film just feels like it is going through the motions where once everything. Seems tied together still feels like a waste of time. 

As even the fantasies come across as cheap. For a film based on the supposed imaginations of its characters. The film seems to have no imagination of its own

In the end, it feels like a cash In Done quickly and doesn’t even Impress with its gold visuals or fantasies 

Grade: F

GOON: LAST OF THE ENFORCERS (2017)

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Directed By: Jay Baruchel
Written By: Jay Baruchel & Jesse Chabot
Based On Characters Created By: Jay Baruchel & Evan Goldberg
Based On The Book “Goon” By: Douglas Smith & Adam Frattasio
Cinematography By: Paul Sarossy
Editor: Jason Eisener 

Cast: Seann William Scott, Wyatt Russell, Alison Pill, Kim Coates, Callum Keith Rennie, Marc-Andre Grondin, Liev Schrieber, Elisha Cuthbert, Jay Baruchel, Jason Jones, T.J. Miller 


It’s a new day for the Halifax Highlanders. A pro lockout has reunited old teammates and brought a crew of new players to the bench; notably missing from the line-up, however, is everyone’s favourite enforcer and heart of the team, Doug “The Thug” Glatt. Sidelined after one too many hits and now married with a baby on the way, Doug is hanging up his skates and settling into life as an insurance salesman. But when Doug’s nemesis, Anders Cain, is made captain of the Highlanders and new ownership threatens to tear his team apart, Doug is compelled back into action. Ignoring the wishes of wife Eva, Doug heads to the rink, discovering an unlikely training partner in fellow retired enforcer and one-time arch rival, Ross “The Boss” Rhea. Together with grit, passion and unrivaled loyalty, they will grind out one last chance to do what they do best…protect their team

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