THE CHUMSCRUBBER (2005)

Directed By: Arie Posen 

Story By: Arie Posen and Zac Stanford 

Written By: Zac Stanford

Cinematography: Lawrence Sher 

Editor: William Scharf And Arthur Schmidt 

Cast: Jamie Bell, Camilla Belle, Justin Chatwin, Lou Taylor Pucci, Rory Culkin, Glenn Close, Carrie Anne Moss, Ralph Fiennes, Jason Isaacs, Lauren Holly, Caroline Goodall, William Fichtner, John Heard, Allison Janney, Rita Wilson 

a dark comedy about the lives of people who live in upper-class suburbia. It all begins when Dean Stiffle finds the body of his friend, Troy. He doesn’t bother telling any of the adults because he knows they won’t care. Everyone in town is too self-consumed to worry about anything else than themselves. And everybody is on some form of drug just to get themselves through the day. After Troy’s death, local drug dealers at the school run out of their stash. They convince Dean to get Troy’s stash or they are going to kill his brother that they kidnapped, but they grabbed the wrong kid.


This show is an intriguing failure that seems to be some sort of statement or satire on disaffected teens coming apart at the seams in suburbia after tranquilizing themselves on recreational drugs for so long that they seem to be scared of their own emotions. I wish the film played and explored more of what I just described.

Instead, the film seems more interested in the adult characters, who are not as deep and as types. This only makes their stories seem melodramatic or the product of a soap opera. Which makes one wonder how the film got such a powerful cast for a film that feels more like a desperate Housewives spin-off

The film seems to shy away from too much depth to focus more on the quirks and offbeat comedy.

The film is all surface but tries too hard at times to seem deep almost like a pretty girl reading an intellectual book and you notice over weeks each time you see her she is on the same page as she only does it for the attention or seems smarter than she might actually be

The ending feels too. The end feels too clean cut which one could see if this was based on pre-existing material but as it is an original production, it could’ve been worked on a bit more. It feels too self-serving, trying to please an audience instead of going for emotional truth.

It ends up playing more like a studio version of an independent coming-of-age film. With the parents so busy with themselves, they never pay attention to their own kids, even after one commits suicide, which might be blatant science for attention and help or even subconscious ones.. though the adults seem to anodize themselves with Work and each other as a form of hiding.

The film tries to tighten it like video games and not feeling real trying to achieve a numbness or doing things so that they can feel something. Not fall into the same traps and behavior as their parents, though it seems they easily follow suit.

Has a good score which other than the cast seems to be the most accomplished thing about it.

Grade: C

BIRDS OF PARADISE (2021)

Written & Directed By: Sarah Adina Smith
Based on the Book by: A. K. Small
Cinematography: Shaheen Seth 
Editor: David Barker

Cast: Diana Silvers, Jacqueline Bisset, Kristine Froseth, Eva Lomby, Caroline Goodall, Daniel Camargo, Osiel Gouneo, Nassim Lyes, Stav Strashko 

Two girls at an elite Parisian ballet academy have their bond and bodies tested as they compete for a contract to join the company of the Opéra National de Paris.


This film is an adaptation of a novel. So that it’s not quite the Junior League BLACK SWAN rip off. that many have dubbed it.

Black Swan, for instance, seems to delve more into a kind of psychological breakdown, mixed with what might be supernatural. Here though it does deal with mental strength and breakdowns everything seems to stay in reality.

The film lends itself more to surreal imagery and scenes, though it keeps its feet and head on the ground. As the characters are dealing with many different issues from weight loss to the pressure of competition, deaths, and family, trying to prove themselves, and so on.

While we focus on the two main female characters who bond and our enemies at the same time. Where they are trying to each bond, yet have the upper hand while keeping secrets from one another that it becomes downright shocking who actually betrays who.

As they truly share everything even a bed, as there is only one in their room soon it is lovers’ feelings, emotions, truths, revealing themselves to each other, physically, and mentally sexually

Sure we have seen this before but somehow the film the state captivating Wild, never really reveals too much except about its two subjects.

As they seem to be the only warmth in the cold atmosphere of their situation, and the film. One character, who is warm, learns how to be cold, and the other who starts out cold, learns to become themselves, and thus thaw out.

Soon the film also becomes about identity and knowing oneself. As they both are on their own similar journeys in opposite directions, one ends up in a more purely sexual relationship, and the other ends up in route one that is not as sexual as usual for her, and involves more emotion.

It has beautiful dance sequences throughout and does not shy away from showing the physical cost of that and somewhat financial costs. It also helps that most of the cast is very eye-catching. Luckily, they are also all believable.

The film keeps her interested as it seems too deep. Every time you think you’ve gotten it figured out, even though there is still a ticking time clock on the ending. 

The ending doesn’t quite stick to the Landing, even though this is an anti-buddy drama.

That while it stays captivating, it just doesn’t have that cutthroat feeling enough to keep you enraptured.

Grade: C+

THE HITMAN’S WIFE’S BODYGUARD (2021)

 Directed By: Patrick Hughes 
Written By: Brandon Murphy & Phillip Murphy 
Based On Characters Created By & Story By: Tom O’Connor 
Cinematography: Terry Stacey 
Editor: Jack Hutchings & Michael J. Duthie

Cast: Ryan Reynolds, Samuel L. Jackson, Salma Hayek, Frank Grillo, Antonio Banderas, Tom Hopper, Caroline Goodall, Richard E. Grant, Morgan Freeman, Alice McMillan 

The bodyguard, Michael Bryce, continues his friendship with assassin, Darius Kincaid, as they try to save Darius’ wife Sonia


This is a movie that seems rushed to make money off the surprise hit of the first film and this time offers more Salma Hayek that the first film. Where she was a memorable supporting character.

This film offers a lot more of her including in her low-cut outfits and even a sex scene that is more comedic than sexy. Though the film gives her a chance to shine. 

The film is more aimed at being a comedy with action in it rather than the other way around and as hilarious as the film is you never take it seriously and just try to have fun. As much as the cast seems to be having.

This film offers up recognizable cast members new to the franchise in surprising supporting roles. Though luckily it seems as soon as they wear out their welcome they either disappear or are dispatched. 

They try to sideline Ryan Reynolds a little. as once again his character is going through confidence problems and here he has decided to not be violent throughout. He is involved in the action sequences. As more the straight man who keeps getting punished violently while all around him kill and fight. Which might be to make room for Salma Hayek to have more to do and be part of the action. He for the most part is abused throughout 

What works for these films is that while they are silly and quite stupid. They stay entertaining and are never boring and come off as guilty pleasures more than anything else. Especially by the end which is just ridiculous.

These films feel like the CRANK movies only not as over the top, campy or low brow. They are dirty And they all feel like they have the energy of an energized bunny or play out like violent love action cartoons more than anything anyone can really identify with. 

Grade: C+