Author: jbg

BAD HAIR (2020)

~ jbg ~ Leave a comment

Written & Directed by: Justin Simien
Cinematography: Topher Osborn
Editor: Philip J. Bartell & Kelly Matsumoto

Cast: Elle Lorraine, Jay Pharoah, Lena Waithe, Vanessa Williams, Blair Underwood, Laverne Cox, James Van Der Beek, Usher Raymond IV, Kelly Rowland, Robin Thede, Judith Scott, Michelle Hurd, MC Lyte, Chante Adams, Nicole Byer, Steve Zissis, Yaani King Mondschlien, Ashley Blane featherstone, Daheli Hall, Courtney Sauls 

In 1989 an ambitious young woman gets a weave in order to succeed in the image-obsessed world of music television. However, her flourishing career may come at a great cost when she realizes that her new hair may have a mind of its own.

While the film is definitely inspired, as it comes off as modern-day folklore. It also seems to become more fascinated with its time period of being set in 1989.

Which leads to plenty of comedy and laughs due to fashions and even hairstyles. It also comes at a certain cornerstone of culture. Where weaves really started to become popular and were seen as a symbol of beauty and professionalism and the film explores that concept to a degree. Which is a horror in itself becoming someone else or to a degree letting go of your natural self for something more processed and artificial.

Here the hair is haunted to a degree. This leads to some social satire and follows the general rules of a horror film though without much of the violence you usually see. Though it gets it’s point across. 

There are plenty of laughs, not as many thrills and chills. As the film comes across as looking for more depths, but still feels shallow itself or a kind of artificial product. The film comes off weak for what it seems to promise.

Even filming in old film stick seems inspired but also reminds us how much of a throwback the film is and makes it come across. As more synthetic than it should.

As it also never comes off as playful as it seeks. It wants to be campy but then wants to be serious and teach some kind of story. It tries to be of the time it is set in but seems to rest more in humor as everything else seems or feels like it falls short in what it seeks. As there is little to no tension. 

It also doesn’t help when it tips it’s audience off so many times. Like at the salon when Laverne Cox shows up and her make up is already obscured and the tone looks more zombie-ish. You can tell something is off or not right.

For most of the movie, you wait for something to happen as you keep getting hints until you finally want to see some action. 

The special effects seem like CGI when it was first beginning. So that when used it never comes across as scary if anything it comes off as elementary and almost comical. So that the film never has any scares and the kills are unimpressive. 

The film tries to have style but comes off as more artificial. As the film seems to want to say anything tiring in many issues into the horror but it comes across as shallow. As the characters come off as.

Don’t get me wrong it does entertain but comes across as a movie that never comes fully. It feels filled with filler. So that it feels more like an episode rather than a movie. Especially with it’s ending. 

In the end, it has such promise and seems like it is going for a goal that has the audience excited only to fizzle out. More like an overwrought anthology story that goes on for too long.

Grade: C

BOO! A MADEA HALLOWEEN (2016)

~ jbg ~ Leave a comment

Written & Directed By: Tyler Perry
Cinematography: Richard Vialet
Editor: Larry Sexton

Cast: Tyler Perry, Cassi Davis, Diamond White, Liza Koshy, Bella Thorne, Yousef Barker, Jimmy Tatro,  Lavell Crawford, Corey Holcomb, Adele Givens, Lexy Panterra, Patrice Lovely, Andre Hall, Tyga, Mike Tornabene, Angela Ray, Dominique Witten, 

Madea lands in the midst of mayhem when she spends a haunted Halloween fending off killers, paranormal poltergeists, ghosts, ghouls, and zombies while keeping a watchful eye on her wild teenage great-niece.

At this point these movies are for the Tyler Perry loyalists. Who seem to be like trump voters where no matter what you say or logic you point out they still stay loyal in their tastes and beliefs. The only difference is that the Tyler Perry loyalists seem to know his film’s weaknesses and can admit they aren’t necessarily good but they are at least entertained.

A scene that lasts up to 25 minutes is just general conversation and doesn’t really move things along except to have a petty conversation and reiterate points the film and characters have already made many times already. It is mainly a conversation of insults and one-upping each character 

Sometimes it seems that perry’s Films are more written around whatever point he has to make or whatever he has to say that is on his mind and reinforce mroe classic ways of love, parenting, and life with the recurring character of madea. A character who works In Films like these mroe because the plots are more cartoonish and outlandish 

The message here seems to be not to let your children run all over you and to have actual discipline with them. So that they learn to respect and boundaries 

Though when He makes more dramatic movies that center around emotional intensity and believability. Madea being Shoehorned in there does offer a release by having a character mroe there for comedic relief but the. Also distracts and take the audience away out of the rest of the movie 

Even if madea is more of a franchise cvjharacter but at this point seems loaned out and used for every type of situation and storyline 

The only time this film gets entertaining is in the third act where at least true points are finally made and truly expressed. As well as the film finally actually having some humor that is actually funny even if obvious and a bit sloppy 

The first brothers first of all lol too old and have no real Believable Appeal for the teenage girls and their characters are never believable and white actually bland and more are there for the story rather than Building any believable characters or antagonists. Even worse the originals who are supposed to be mroe comedic seem more stupid and over the top then Even if they were in a children’s movie where that is mroe generally accepted 

Grade: F

QUEEN OF THE DAMNED (2002)

~ jbg ~ Leave a comment

Directed By: Michael Rymer
Written By: Scott Abbott & Michael Petroni
Based on the Novels “THE VAMPIRE CHRONICLES” Written By: Anne Rice Cinematography: Ian Baker
Editor: Dany Cooper

Cast: Aaliyah, Stuart Townsend, Marguerite Moureau, Vincent Perez, Lena Olin, Paul McCann, Claudia Black, Bruce Spence, Matthew Newton, Christian Norton 

In this loose sequel to Interview with the Vampire: The Vampire Chronicles (1994), the vampire Lestat becomes a rock star whose music wakes up the equally beautiful and monstrous queen of all vampires.

While the film is lackluster in certain aspects it does provide a sequel to INTERVIEW WITH THE VAMPIRE and is a continuation of the vampire chronicles In The series of books by Anne Rice 

Though the fanfare for this film Seems to be In The legacy of singer and actress Aaliyah who plays the title role and who does before the film could be completed. As this was a great star-making role for her and at the time one of the few modern horror films. To have an African American in a prominent role. So that also helped bring more people of color to be fans of the film. As it at least had representation even if she is the villain in the end 

Narrative wise it is interesting that one of the scariest characters in the previous tale INTERVIEW WITH THE VAMPIRE was now the protagonist and more on the run from a more powerful vampire. Even as he has brought about her comeback. Due In part by his arrogance of becoming. A rock star despite vampires usually staying out of the limelight due to being immortal. 

The music isn’t very good and the film comes off as low budget trying to seem bigger and Stuart Townsend in the lead isn’t as charismatic as Tom Cruise who played the role first. He doesn’t even approach flamboyance. Though he does appear scared of the all too powerful vampire played by Aaliyah.

The way they incorporate her into the film is creative considering she wasn’t quite done filming all of her scenes. Though whenever her character seems to move the movements all seem to have a voice of chant. Which comes off as enchanting and freaky.

One of the few aspects that does work here is that it delves more into the history of the vampires and sets up a kind of mythology for them. 

The film is somewhat entertaining though ultimately a failure. Especially as at parts it tries to form a romance between Lestat and a human. That feels forced in this type of film. Especially when there is a mroe important matter at hand. 

In the end, even though the quality of the film feels like mroe a straight to video film for the times. The tragedy that happened catapulted the film into theaters and stands as a kind of living embodiment and dedication to the memory of queen Aaliyah.

Grade: D+

TWO FOR THE MONEY (2005)

~ jbg ~ Leave a comment

Directed By: D.J. Caruso
Written By: Dan Gilroy
Cinematography By: Conrad W. Hall
Editor: Glen Scantlebury

Cast: Al Pacino, Matthew McConaughey, Rene Russo, Jaime King, Armand Assante, Jeremy Piven, Ralph Garman, Gedde Watanabe, Carly Pope

Brandon Lang loves football: an injury keeps him from the pros, but his quarterback’s anticipation makes him a brilliant predictor of games’ outcomes. Needing money, he leaves Vegas for Manhattan to work for Walter Abrams advising gamblers. Walter has a doting wife, a young daughter, and a thriving business, but he has problems: a bum heart, a belief he’s a master manipulator, and addictions barely kept in check. He remakes Brandon, and a father-son relationship grows. Then, things go awry. Walter may be running a con. The odds against Brandon mount.

This film feels like a classic Don Simpson/Jerry Bruckheimer film of the 80’s. Where they try to jazz up a subject that they over produce and make everything about the subject wise, spiritual and artistic. A way of life that at any moment can bring life or death. The subject here… Professional sports betting. So it ends up being Much ado about nothing. Though it makes it feel like it’s important what we are watching.

Based on the true story of Brandon Long.

The film is so far-fetched, but at times wants you to take it very seriously there’s no real stakes. Though the film tries to make the audience feel like there are big ones. As there is no real plot. There is a story, but not much. It’s just ridiculous while taking itself so seriously.

I give Matthew McConaughey credit for momentarily at the time breaking out of his usual romantic comedies to try something that requires a little more skill. Before he broke out more majorly around 2012. Too bad this dramatic material isn’t any better than the films he was starring in at the time. By rest assured the film still finds a reason to have him half naked half the time. Because other than being a genius bookie. He is a workout fanatic.

Though it has plenty of scenes showing Matthew McConaughey working out intensely that has nothing to do with the story. It’s a nice character trait, though we don’t really need as much time devoted to it. Though I suspect this was a way to cross promote the film to McConaughey’s heavy female fan base

This is the classic formula boy is talented he is taken to the dark side under the wings of a hero. Gets cocky takes a fall. Fights his way back up. The only thing missing is he doesn’t meet a girl and fall in love. Which gives him his confidence back instead on his own. Instead of through the love Is a good woman. Here he sleeps around (giving us again a bunch of scenes for him to have his shirt off with some day player actress/model who matches him in good looks) flirts with his mentors wife. Who gives him the good advice he needs in a more mothering nature. Since it’s Rene Russo and she Is top billed I am guessing that is why there is no real love interest. She plays that role without being physically intimate at all. It might be also because Rene Russo’s husband, Dan Gilroy, wrote the part of Al Pacino’s wife Toni especially for Russo and tailored it to fit her perfectly. He even used Russo’s real-life sister’s name Toni as the name of the character.

Al Pacino plays his mentor in his unfortunately now typical overacting and distracting hair and histrionics in his performance, but still gets the best one liners. He is not as embarassing here as he can be in other films.

The way the film was advertised is like this was going to be the dramatic team-up we have been waiting for PACINO – McConaughey when I think of good, possibly legendary dramatic actors to star in a film together those names don’t belong there. More so now that McConaughey has an Academy Award and accolades and is earning a more respectable pedigree due to the material he chooses to be in. But at the time he didn’t have any of that. In this film at the time, I could see If, Pacino was matched with Edward Norton or Johnny Depp even Matt Damon. Who at the time I would believe would have turned this popcorn time waster down. Though it shines a point that at the time when 2 stars were in a film together they played up that fact. Now that more and more co-star usually in superhero movies it seems more expected or not as much a spectacle as it once was.

It’s a shame that I like director DJ Caruso I loved his film THE SALTON SEA, but he hasn’t really made a film as original or noteworthy between this, DISTURBIA and EAGLE EYE. This film seems like a day job for him. No excitement no enthusiasm not flair. Any director could have made this film. That is how impersonal it feels

It’s a film that would have been hot in the 80’s well-remembered and not know why they like it so much, but for some odd reason do. Sort of like DAYS OF THUNDER. If you were to really examine it you would realize how bad it is. This film would fit right in as It seems to believe and exploit what was big and popular especially the attitudes of that time.

The film does have a lot of gloss. It’s shiny and pretty. This gloss is The kind of thing that is used to cover up mistakes or cracks in something or to hide Certain things, like the fact of how bad this movie is. They try I use foundation to cover up its blemishes, That if you look close you can see.

if you must see it please wait for television.

Grade: D

TETRO (2009)

~ jbg ~ Leave a comment

Written & Directed By: Francis Ford Coopola 
Cinematography By: Mihai Malaimare Jr. 
Editor: Walter Murch 
 

CAST: Vincent Gallo, Carmen Maura, Maribel Verdu, Alden Ehrenreich, Klaus Maria Brandauer, Leticia Bredice   

Bennie travels to Buenos Aires to find his long-missing older brother, a once-promising writer who is now a remnant of his former self. Bennie’s discovery of his brother’s near-finished play might hold the answer to understanding their shared past and renewing their bond.

This film had it’s fair share of problems before it started. Matt Dillon dropped out of the lead role. Francis Ford Coppola felt the film was too close to RUMBLE FISH, so he was kind of glad he dropped out. But still decided to film it in the same way in black and white with flashbacks in color though diluted. 

Javier Bardem was cast as The Tutor but Coppola felt it would be more dramatic if the role was played by a woman. Then Francis ford Coppola’s only copy of the script was stolen when thieves broke into his home studio in Buenos Aires where his only copy of the script was so he had to pay a ransom to get it back. 

I wish I could say it was all worth it. Coppola has called this a personal film and it shows his attention to the characters and the drama between them, but as it may mean something deep to him it just didn’t come off that way. To me, it came off overwrought after awhile the film mainly deals with each of the characters and their daddy issues while everything is presented and built like an opera, but many art forms are featured in the film Dance, Novels, Plays, Stripping, Performance Art, Music. Yet it doesn’t come off too much as pretentious.

The film is truly beautiful to look at it’s a technical marvel as many of the scenes look sumptuous. I imagine it is truly a marvel on Blu-ray. I think I definitely would have had a greater appreciation for the film had I seen it on the big screen. I mean even Coppola himself considers this his most beautiful looking film and obviously I agree. (though BRAM STOKER” DRACULA is pretty good competition) 

While I really wanted to like the film. I was disappointed. The film came off as melodramatic a lot of times. I really couldn’t get into the film I loved looking at it but never felt any general emotions. The film feels timeless like it could have taken place at any time. Yet the film is too long.   

The story is of Tetro who ran off to Buenos Aires to get away from his great composer father to be a writer and he hasn’t come back to the states since so when his little brother who is working on a cruise ship comes to visit he is both happy to see him but can’t wait for him to go back. 

They get to catch up but before he can leave the brother is hit by a motorcycle and is forced to stay by Tetro’s girlfriend where he discovers Tetro’s thinly disguised novel and finds out the real reason his brother ran away. 

The film is built like a grand old-style classic movie. It has layers as this one character and his decisions affect those around him. As his father’s ego did to him. How each character caters to him. I’ll admit Vincent Gallo always interests me as a person and actor/director here he does a good job with the lead performance where he isn’t called onto to emote until the end and doesn’t have too many lines. Everything is mainly told about him through actions but he is as volatile as ever. 

The actresses are all beautiful and can be quite distracting. The film Is rich with many things and I wish I could give it a higher grade but in my heart, I can’t.
 
It is a good film to put on with the volume off and have on in the background, but other than that I can only suggest it as a rental. 
 
GRADE: C

FANTASY ISLAND (2020)

~ jbg ~ Leave a comment

Directed By: Jeff Wadlow
Written By Jeff Wadlow, Chris Roach & Jillian Jacobs 
Based on the television series “FANTASY ISLAND” Created By: Gene Levitt  Cinematography: Toby Oliver 
Editor: Sean Albertson

Cast: Michael Pena, Maggie Q, Lucy Hale, Portia Doubleday, Jimmy O. Yang, Ryan Hansen, Mike Vogel, Austin Stowell, Kim Coates, Michael Rooker, Robbie Jones, Parisa Fitz-Hanley, Ian Roberts

The enigmatic Mr. Roarke makes the secret dreams of his lucky guests come true at a luxurious but remote tropical resort. But when the fantasies turn into nightmares, the guests have to solve the island’s mystery in order to escape with their lives.

don’t know exactly who the audience for this film is supposed to be. Though whoever it is I am sure wasn’t envisioning a horror film.

The film sticks to the horns of fantasy island whereas the guests get to live out their fantasies only with some kind of twists involved that they didn’t foresee. 

The film is rather simplistic but thinks It’s clever by having a big reveal. Only to take away any credit it might have built up which was little, to begin with. As it feels generic. 

This might have been noteworthy if made in an earlier era. Which it feels like it comes from more than the 1990s. Though now instead of high concept it feels like a horror script thrown into a familiar tv show, for recognition and comes off as disposable and barely noteworthy.

It’s a shame because the film has a good cast. At least it gives actors who are usually relegated to supporting roles some room to shine even if the film is an ensemble. 

Should have been suspicious when seeing Michael Pena in the lead as he is a good actor, but always seems tied to these disappointing cinematic reboots of more niche television shows, that you would never imagine becoming films. 

Though the premises of fantasies seem kind of simple and then once the twists come. They seem to come from shows and movies we have seen before. Especially the revenge fantasy involving the bully from childhood. Where all of a sudden a monstrous huge surgeon becomes a slasher. 

I can understand if it was just trying to be the greatest common denominator entertainment but here other than the lush visuals of the landscapes. The film just feels like it is going through the motions where once everything. Seems tied together still feels like a waste of time. 

As even the fantasies come across as cheap. For a film based on the supposed imaginations of its characters. The film seems to have no imagination of its own

In the end, it feels like a cash In Done quickly and doesn’t even Impress with its gold visuals or fantasies 

Grade: F

DORA AND THE LOST CITY OF GOLD (2019)

~ jbg ~ Leave a comment

 Directed By: James Bobin
Written By: Nicholas Stoller & Matthew Robinson
Story by: Tom Wheeler & Nicholas Stoller
Based on the television series “DORA THE EXPLORER” Created by:  Valerie Walsh, Chris Gifford & Eric Weiner
Cinematography: Javier Aguirresarobe
Editor: Mark Everson

Cast: Isabelle Moner, Eva Longoria, Michael Pena, Adriana Barraza, Eugenio Derbez, Benicio Del Toro (voice), Danny Trejo (voice), Temuera Morrison, Q’orianka Kilcher, Madeline Madden, Nicholas Coombe, Jeff Wahlberg, 

Having spent most of her life exploring the jungle with her parents, nothing could prepare Dora for her most dangerous adventure ever: high school. Always the explorer, Dora quickly finds herself leading Boots, Diego, a mysterious jungle inhabitant, and a ragtag group of teens on a live-action adventure to save her parents and solve the impossible mystery behind a lost Inca civilization.

This movie is for those who grew up on Dora and are now teenagers. So they make it the same way and to explain her kind of arrested development of sorts. It is explained that she has been growing up in the jungle. So regular civilization and especially high school and its rules and culture are foreign to her. 

This film comes across as cute mroe than anything else. As it offers plenty of danger but also plenty of fun and entertainment.

You know what type of movie you are going to get from the get-go. As this is a film more made for pre-teens that is the kid. If adventure films that have been missing for that audience that offer kids being heroes and while under adult supervision end up being mroe the wise ones.

This is like a modern-day Amblin film. Where there is the threat of danger even though you know there isn’t probably going to be any even for the fates of villains. 

Also, credit must be given to a film that has a psychedelic sequence that is animated. Where the kids trip out from mushrooms and a scene where two scorpions mate on someone’s head.  

What really puts the film in a high is having Benicio Del Toro steak the film With him voicing the character of Swiper the Fox. And Eugenio Debrez provides plenty of comedic Relief as the inept explorer helping Dora and her crew.

While the film has many callbacks to the original animated show that come off as Jokes most of the time. This is a nice wholesome and fun family film. That has little to no cynicism and is rather simple. 

Though would expect nothing less from Director James Bobin director of many modern muppet movies and shows. 

Grade: C+

BEST/ FAVORITE MOVIES OF 2020 VIEWING EXPERIENCES (Part 2 of 2)

~ jbg ~ Leave a comment

BEST/ FAVORITE MOVIES OF 2020 VIEWING EXPERIENCES (Part 2 of 2)

THE FAVORITES

20. THE PLATFORM

19. THE VAST OF THE NIGHT 

18. ON THE RECORD 

17. SELAH AND THE SPADES

16. MANK

15. NEVER, RARELY, SOMETIMES, ALWAYS 

14. THE HALF OF IT 

13. SOUL

12. SOUND OF METAL 

11. KAJILLIONAIRE 

10. BABYTEETH 

9. HOST 

8. DISCLOSURE 

7. THE 40-YEAR-OLD VERSION 

6. SMALL AXE: MANGROVE 

5. DA 5 BLOODS

4. SHITHOUSE 

3. SHIRLEY 

2. PORTRAIT OF A LADY ON FIRE 

Yes, officially it came out in theaters last year for a week only. It was officially released wide this year so it made my list at least 

1. SMALL AXE: LOVER’S ROCK 

HONORABLE MENTIONS

SPONTANEOUS 

THE ASSISTANT

I’M THINKING OF ENDING THINGS 

LES MISERABLES 

SPECIAL MENTION 

BLACK IS KING 

HAMILTON

FAVORITE SOUNDTRACKS/SCORES 

WE ARE WHO WE ARE 

NOMADLAND (SCORE)

WE ARE LITTLE ZOMBIES 

KAJILLIONAIRE (SCORE)

ZOMBI CHILD 

TENET (SCORE) 

WORST VIEWING EXPERIENCES 

1. Verotika 

2. A Fall From Grace 

3. Fatal Affair 

4. The Lie 

5. Batman: Death In The Family 

6. Random Acts Of Violence

7. Capone 

8. Wonder Woman 1984 

9. 2 Minutes Of Fame 

10. Like A Boss

11. American Pie: Girls Rule 

12. Hubie Halloween 

13. Desperados

DIDN’T SEE

MINARI

NOMADLAND 

BACURAU

BEANPOLE

CRIP CAMP

COLLECTIVE

JUNGLELAND 

BECKY

FREAKY

THE ORANGE YEARS 

SORRY WE MISSED YOU

LOVE AND MONSTERS

FATMAN

THE NEST

ANOTHER ROUND

MISS JUNETEENTH

PENINSULA

ETERNAL BEAUTY

THE NEW MUTANTS

CORPUS CHRISTI

MISS BEHAVIOR

SORRY WE MISSED YOU

PROMISING YOUNG WOMAN 

SMALL AXE: RED, WHITE AND BLUE

SMALL AXE: ALEX WHITE 

SMALL  AXE: EDUCATION 

HOBO WITH A SHOTGUN (2011)

~ jbg ~ Leave a comment

Directed & Edited By: Jason Eisener
Written by: John Davies
Story By: John Davies, Jason Eisener & Rob Cotterill
Cinemantography By: Karim Hussain

Cast: Rugter Hauer, Brain Downey, Gregory Smith, Molly Dunsworth 

In this film a Hobo riding the rails comes to a town to save up and start his own lawnmower business. then he see’s how corrupt and evil the town is. he tries to do the right thing and work with the cops but finds them to be crooked. so after being pushed too far he takes the law into his own hands and becomes a vigilante. Seeking to clean up the streets.

Is there such a thing as too over the top? this film seeks to answer that question. I mean there is a scene where some one is decapitated and blood is spilling out of their neck like a geyser and the villains “Girlfriend” or at least one of them in a white bikini stands and dances as the blood pours all over her. She reacts like she is getting a orgasm from it.

This film reminds me of the Troma Movies, i used to watch in my teen years. It has the right mix of Low-brow humor, Bad Taste and Extreme gore. Which in a way makes me feel nostalgic watching this movie. Which made the film enjoyable and a fun movie experience There is nothing in the film you can take seriously none of the characters seem like real life human beings. even the town and it’s citizens are unbelievable in their attitudes.

The Villains kids drive a car that looks futuristic Like a DeLorean and a 70’s car mixed which helps in this unbelievable world we are thrust into. The colors of the film are a little too saturated. Yet come off as dirty and deteriorating. Which adds to the queasiness of what is happening on screen.

The Villain and his family remind me of The power and sickness of Saddam Hussein and his sons Uday and Qusay. Which is the closest this film get’s to a political statement.

It’s nice to see Rugter Hauer. He get’s to cut loose and gives his character not only heart but also a deranged lunacy that goes with much of the movie. I haven’t enjoyed him this much since CONFESSIONS OF A DANGEROUS MIND, Which was supposed to be his last Comeback. and BLIND FURY another action B-Movie with a twist. Which matches the 80’s feel.

Brian Downey who plays the villain “The Drake” i remember from the sci-fi Television show i loved Named LEXX. Here he chews so much scenery. it feels like he has waited his whole life to just let loose as a character.

I was shocked to see Gregory Smith Playing one of the villains son. I remember him as a child actor in HARRIET THE SPY and THE PATRIOT as well as the TV Show EVERWOOD. he usually plays such good people i was taken aback to see him play a disgustingly evil bastard.

If you can’t tell by the title of the movie. It is supposed to be silly. So you get what you expect. I have to say my excitement for the movie and watching it is probably better then the actual film is. The film started out as a entry into a trailer contest that the film GRIND HOUSE set-up to have the winner be apart of the fake trailers already in the film.

This was the winning entry and from that there was a offer to make the film after a script was completed and the filmmakers kept the film in the grind house tradition of being exploitive and having a gimmick. they forgot the part where most grind house films the movies were usually schlock but the movie makers were serious in what they thought would be a good film. Which was what made them entertaining. It’s one thing to have a sense of humor about yourself and your movie, but With all these grind house inspired films the problem is that they try to be a joke and put the audience in with them on it. Which i will admit i enjoy most of the results of films like this and MACHETE, but it also gives a diservice to the title of grindhouse as most of these are just gory comedies.

This one in particular seems to aim more for campiness at times then pure funny. Let me get off my soapbox.

This film also surprisingly leaves off another element that grindhouse and troma movies usually revel in. There is hardly any nudity or sex in the film plenty of talking about it, but rarely shown.

Though the Villain’s are supposed to be the big bad’s. They don’t seem to be the worst Psychopaths they just seem to be the most organized, even though they are all crazy.

This film also has to have the luckiest hooker i have ever seen. She has a heart of gold has lived in this town this long and never seems to have a john but plenty of money and has never really been hurt or attacked of course that is until the hobo comes to town. i kept wondering how has she lasted so long? but then again this is a movie where almost every gunshot is big and deep when it lands and kills instantly, but cutting deep into a neck can be repairable.

This film fulfills what you would expect from it’s title and poster. if that is what you see that is what you will get. I honestly can’t wait to see of the filmmakers stay on the path to making films like this or make a natural transgression to other genre films. either way i await there next move. A definite Addition to the film library… on sale

GRADE: B-

LAND OF THE LOST (2009)

~ jbg ~ Leave a comment

Directed by: Brad Silberling
Written By: Chris Henchy & Dennis McNicholas
Based on the television series “LAND OF THE LOST” created by: Sid Kroft & Marty Kroft
Cinematography: Dion Beebe
Editor: Peter Teschner

Cast: Will Ferrell, Anna Friel, Danny McBride, Jorma Taccone, Sierra McCormick, Bobb’E J. Thompson, Matt Lauer, Brian Huskey 

Palaeontologist Rick Marshall takes Will and Holly into a new world of danger, dinosaurs and big bug-eyed lizard people while trying to find their way back home and, too, save the universe and in doing so saving his reputation. With the dinosaur with brains, brawn and personality and the adventure of scientific advancement and exotic beasts in a far away land, it all adds up to time traveling fun and frolics.

This is truly a case of why did this movie get made it just seems like a waste of time and talent.

I remember the show not being all that good but it has it’s fans and a cult following  behind it and with Hollywood either remaking or rebooting everything in sight. It seemed like this movie was inevitable. Though films like this and SPEED RACER Seem to have a limited audience appeal. Even if recognized more than a random title. They just never seemed to have a following enough to believe these films Would be hits but by casting bigger names it hit directors and actors if the time may be the shine from their star will be all that the film needs to keep shine and get an audience. Even though they Don’t really help the film or the audience for that matter.

It seems like it is made up as it goes along while trying to stay true to the series. Which was something that seemed ridiculous. All that mattered was having a summer film filled with special effects. Even if they are limited and not that Impressive.

Whereas they try to stay true but also try to make some sense. As the material does leave itself easier served as a comedy with some science fiction thrown in.

The film is inventively filmed and the film Looks great as usual when Director Brad Silberling directs but his and the cast contributions can’t save this film. That just feels like a total waste of talent, time. 

As the film never seems to be funny at all and more like a Hodgepodge of cliches that tries to be offbeat but feels like no one is trying to har but the powers that be are left to riff on what is supposed to happen. In the scene or where the script seems to leave them With little to do at times. It seems like the actors try to make it work but feel more like they are on autopilot.

As it tries to be a more subversive psychedelic kids film with humor and material that serves maybe more to an older teenage audience but still comes off more as silly and downright dumb. So you wonder who this film is really for or supposed to appeal to. 

As even though the technology and special  effects are better and updated they still look and feel kind of corny and uninspired. Even Will Ferrell feels like he is on autopilot.

One glaring problem is that this is supposed to be an adventure tale and as big as it is built up to be there is barely any sense of wonder or exploration. So that it just feels grounded and never takes off. 

It feels like a heavily researched slot that goes on way too long and should have never been made.

It plays like a bad futurama episode.

Grade: F