Author: jbg

THE LIE (2018)

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Written & Directed By: Veena Sud
Based On the Film “WIR MONSTER” Written By: Marcus Seibert & Sebastian Ko
Cinematography: Peter Wurstorf
Editor: Phil Fowler

Cast: Peter Sarsgaard, Mireille Enos, Joey King, Cas Anvar, Patti Kim, Nicholas Lea, Devery Jacobs, Dani Kind 

A father and daughter are on their way to dance camp when they spot the girl’s best friend on the side of the road. When they stop to offer the friend a ride, their good intentions soon result in terrible consequences.

I believe this is a sign that Blumhouse might produce too many movies.

Here they have a good cast and a decent filmmaker. What plays like a LAW & ORDER episode from the grieving parents of a suspect’s point of view. Which has been done before with great casts (BEFORE & AFTER with Liam Neeson & Meryl Streep)

That you know when you see the Blumhouse moniker you know what genre you are going to get but not necessarily the quality. As with this film and quite a few recently this film plays like Blumhouse’s version of a television movie. As there is nothing hardcore objectionable or hardcore. 

This film at least tries to be more dramatic though with so many questionable decisions and repetitious arguments. Then when the ending comes Along it doesn’t feel earned.

It feels like a film that chooses filler to justify an ending that feels like a cheat code by the director. So that it feels more like a trick overall.

Some might say the audience feels this way because they never see the ending coming, but it would be one thing when you shock the audience and that moment has been earned. Here it feels like the beginning and end were thought of first and the rest was just to keep the film going.

As the film has many directions it could have gone. It lays out plenty of motives but then lets the audience get a hint of them before abandoning for its dull and ham-fisted determination of an ending that the feel will be a roundhouse but is more a sucker punch.

The film is competently composed and filmed and the performances are on point, but in the end, the film feels like a cheap trick 

Grade: D+

ALL ABOUT EVIL (2010)

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Written & Directed By: Joshua Grannell
Cinematography: Tom Richmond 
Editor: Rick LeCompte 

Cast: Natasha Lyonne, Thomas Dekker, , Cassandra Peterson, Mink Stole, Noah Segan, Jack Donner, Kat Turner, Jade Ramsey, Nikita Ramsey 

A mousy librarian inherits her father’s beloved but failing old movie house. In order to save the family business she discovers her inner serial killer – and a legion of rabid gore fans – when she starts turning out a series of grisly shorts. What her fans don’t realize yet is that the murders in the movies are all too real.

This film is campy as hell. It feels like a lost John Waters-inspired script.

As it plays homage to horror films of the past but never plays it relatively straight or dramatic each scene feels filled with comedy more than anything.

As the film is over the top as is its Star Natasha Lyonne who is truly one of the only reasons I watched this film. As I have been trying to see it since it first came out and only have had a chance to finally more recently. As she was THE IT girl of indie cinema at the time. This is truly a star-making role for her as she truly gets to go off the wall and fully inhabits the madness of her character and the silliness of the film. 

As this paved the way for the type of roles and characters she would soon play after this. This is more of an introduction to those types, especially as a character who marches to the best of her own drummer.

You can Tell she is having a ball in the role. As it is truly a transformation. Her character starts off the film as meek and shy; throughout each kill, she gains confidence. Until she actually becomes a diva and star. Who gets more stylish and develops a different way of speaking. Like a classic movie star. She also gains a murderous entourage to help her with her kills and productions. Who seems scarier than she but they obey.

Noah Segal in particular is a hilarious scene stealer. As is a veteran actor Jack Donner. It’s also nice to see actress Cassandra Peterson in an actual character role that is not her infamous one of Elvira, mistress of the dark. Even though the film does throw in a joke about that. 

You can never take this film or anything in it seriously. Though it is silly and stupid at times it stays fun throughout. If you are into this type of humor. Even the ending that involves poison has to go grotesque in an absurd way. 

The deaths are inspired and gory. Most of the deaths happen to characters who are annoying or villains. 

It might warm movie fans’ hearts to see that the filmed death scenes were made to be short films. Usually, they are like public service announcements of what not to do at movies to disturb the experience and the consequences of what you do.

Thigh the killers are portrayed as scary they are demented and you enjoy the film more when they are on screen. The scenes of the supposedly normal characters are much scarier. As they are completely off but considered normal or sane. As everybody In This film is somewhat off in some way 

In the end, it just feels like a film of a different era. Yet very specific in its aim and intentions 

Grade: C+

NOT ANOTHER TEEN MOVIE (2001)

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Directed By: Joel Gallen 
Written By: Michael G. Bender, Adam Jay Epstein, Andrew Jacobson, Phil Beauman & Buddy Johnson 
Cinematography: Reynaldo Villalobos 
Editor: Steven Welch 

Cast: Chris Evans, Chyler Leigh, Jaime Pressly, Eric Christian Olsen, Mia Kirshner, Samm Levine, Ron Lester, Joanna Garcia, Sam Hunnington, Randy Quaid, Lacey Chabert, Eric Jungmann, Cody McMains, Nectar Rose, Samaire Armstrong, Beverly Polcyn, Ed Lauter, Paul Gleason, Mr. T, Molly Ringwald, Cerina Vincent

A sendup of all the teen movies that have accumulated in the past two decades. After breaking up with his girlfriend, Priscilla, a popular jock, Jake Wyler makes a bet with his friends that he can’t make ‘ugly girl’ Janey Briggs into prom queen. After spending more and more time with Janey, Jake really starts to think whether he wants to keep the bet on or not.

The first thing you’ll notice about this movie is that it looks ugly. The sets, the film everything looks washed out but still dirty, heaped, and grungy. One remembers how heavily this was advertised primarily by MTV at the time

The scenes never look Natural or even nice looking. The actors look like they have either bad hair dye jobs or bad wigs. The actors are all obviously too old to play teenage characters though that is part of the spoofing.

While this film has Its moments and makes a point here and there nailing its targets it still needs a major overhaul. A lot of jokes seem repetitive and are not clever, they are nasty. Just to be nasty. The film is not as smart as it likes to think it is.

The film feels like a rushed product. Like it is speeding along not aware of its Many flaws. As it seems fast and loose and doesn’t pay any respect or seem to have more than a general understanding of the films it is parodying.

The cast is likable but this film will only serve you with a few chuckles, but hardly a laugh. Even as a spoof this film needed to be better thought out. Like THE SIMPSONS or the NAKED GUN series of films. Which could be lowbrow and funny but still had a lot of well-thought-out and set-up jokes.

One of the good things in this movie is a lockable cast. Especially actress Chyler Leigh as the female lead. She is the only thing that shines bright in the pit of despair of this film. Also the abundant nudity of actress Cerina Vincent as the foreign exchange student. Which is like a work of art itself. On the opposite spectrum, it is sad to see Randy Quaid in this film. As he is a better actor than the material and he gives a bad performance. Then again he doesn’t have that much to work with.

Just like the characters, it highlights the film seems a bit too juvenile as it is obsessed with sex and nudity. Of course, the characters are but it feels like that is the main interest of the film Also. Which leaves it for only a certain kind of audience

When it comes to spoofing. Too many go for the easy jokes that they are supposed to be about, but a truly strung spoof will somehow raise above what they are spoofing to be a strong comedy in their own right and that seems to be a rarity. This is why when it comes to films such as these they never rise above a certain level

I can give the film credit that it hits all of its marks, but unfortunately not in a very clever way and all the cruder. At least not as bad as it seemed like a lot of spoof movies at the time that just tried to be year-end send-ups of whatever was popular or trending, this was better as it was more focused but barely. That seems to have needed a team of comedy writers to make skits and sketches and form into a story 

Grade: D+

NIGHTMARE SISTERS (1988)

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Directed By: David Decoteau 
Written By: Kenneth J. Hall
Cinematography: Voya Mikulic 
Editor: Tony Malanowski 

Cast: Linnea Quigley, Brinke Stevens, Michelle Bauer, Richard Gabai, Timothy Kauffman, Matthew Phelps, C.J. cox, Marcus Vaughter

Melody, Marci, and Mickey are three geeky college girls who can’t get a date. One night, they invite some geeky college guys over and have a seance that results in the girls becoming possessed and turning into sex starved vamps. Will the geek hero guys be able to stop the horrible (?) possession?

This movie is so USA UP ALL NIGHT type of movie mainstay. Where it Is only entertaining is how bad it is. That is similarly structured to the film SORORITY BABES IN BOWL O RAMA. Which is slightly better made and more entertaining.

So I have to give this film credit as these are the type of trashy movies I watched quite a bit on cable and then sought out in how. Video so I could see what basic cable cut out or digitized out 

The films point of view and simple nature can be summed up In The character’s Keep calling the frat guys nazis even though one of the so-called heroes has a poster for the confederate flag. 

Though to be truthful this is even worse for those types of films. Even down to the score.

That is obvious and seems more made to be a feature filled with nudity and titillation than finding an excuse for it. 

Where a dream fantasy scenario becomes a nightmare that involves horror here is more the fantasy type with a bad soundtrack. Though I will admit when I was a young teen this is the type of movie that would play like porn to me and I would sit through it no matter how bad it was. For the promise of maybe a sex scene but more importantly at that age NUDITY. 

The female characters start off as nerd stereotypes before becoming more sexual vampire demons in lingerie and then quickly nude. Throughout most of the film, even the males as their dates are just as geeky but some more crafty toes come along clearly meant to be victims. Who up the body count.

Watching this can be a nostalgic throwback to a certain time in the film. Particularly straight-to-home video films.

As usual when a film has actor Richard Gabai and/or Linnea Quigley involved in the cast or production. 

The film feels like a bunch of filler as it takes its time to get to the story. As the film ends up being more talking than action or shown crude humor and obvious jokes that are offensive. 

Linnea Quigley I was always a fan of so that might be why I have seen so many of these types of films. Also because she was always in these types of roles and films. I sought out as a teen helped form my attractions

Even the Abundant nudity is disappointing to a degree. As for most of the second half of the film. The leads are Topless. This gives it the feeling of softcore porn or a 1980’s  music video that goes for being risqué.

The women are so made up after their transformations kind of preferred them Before. Except their acting becomes more natural after the change. 

The softcore sex scenes end in death or are the only true horror scenes. Though there is no blood and we just see a bunch of smoke as they are being massacred. 

The film uses very few locations.

Endless bath scenes with the three girls in a tub. That it feels like a porno without by real hardcore or even soft-core sex. Though heavily into the setup’s

GRADE: D

SATURDAY THE 14TH (1981)

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Written & Directed By: Howard R. Cohen 
Story By: Jeff Begun 
Cinematography: Daniel Lacambre 
Editor: Kent Beyda & Joanne D’Antonio

Cast: Richard Benjamin, Paula Prentiss, Jeffrey Tambor, Kari Michaelsen, Kevin Brando, Severn Darden, Roberta Collins 

Primarily a spoof of the Friday the 13th series, but also takes shots at several other horror films. After his family moves to a new house, a young boy discovers a mysterious book describing the curse hanging over the date of Saturday the 14th. Opening the book releases a band of monsters into the house, and the family must join together to save themselves and their neighborhood.

This was a movie that I would always see the poster or the box for when I went to video stores as a kid but never pulled the trigger to rent it. That now later in life I finally got a chance to catch up with.

If I saw this as a kid I wonder if the film would have been funny to me with its goofy humor and spoof spirit. That for all its failing would make it a nostalgic favorite.

As I watch it now the movie is terrible all around. It has a loose non-existent plot. It’s not funny and the monsters all seem to be wearing obvious costume suits. The film makes little sense and just seems to try to string together scenes and find an excuse for a monster to come forth.

Not that it was ever In Danger of being scary. You hope that once in a while it will at least be funny, but most of the time it seems like they are throwing jokes against the wall to see what will work and none of it does. Instead, it keeps making a mess.

One would hope with the names in the cast there would be something redeeming about the film and a reason they would say yes to being in the film. Unfortunately, there isn’t.

Richard Benjamin’s character never seems to see any of the obvious things happening around him or at least never acknowledges it and then when finally when gets on the page with the other characters he never quite seems to react 

The film isn’t even fun to sit through. Though it must have had some kind of success as it had a sequel several years later.

Grade: F

99 FRANCS (2007)

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Directed By: Jan Kounen
Written By: Jan Kounen, Bruno Lavaine & Nicolas Charlet
Based On the book by Frederic Beigbeder
Cinematography: David Ungaro
Editor: Anny Danche

Cast: Jean Dujardin, Vahina Giocante, Jocelyn Quivrin, Patrick Mille, Elisa Tovati, Nicolas Marie, Dominique Bettenfeld

The life of Octave Parango, a flamboyant ad designer, is filled with success, satire, misery, and love.

I will admit I hated this film for the first half hour and then slowly learned to go with its Rhythms. Still don’t really like the film but appreciate what was intended and tried to be.


A dark comedic satire that tries to send up advertisement agencies and seeks to have sex and drugs on the brain most of the time. As the debauchery never seems as happy as it should and half the time passes for entertainment here. The film comes across as stylish but as a fad. Definitely, a disposable product of its time.

This feels like a film where the details feel like add on’s. As the film aspires at first to be so smooth.

Leaving it hard to care for not only the lead characters but most of them. Sure living a life most might want but still despicable and empty.

The film ends up feeling too slick for its own good. As it comes off pretentious and empty though purports to be about something in the end, a kind of redemption of a character who doesn’t seem worth it and only does it out of revenge.

The two female characters in the movie are the only ones we care about for many reasons. Once they are fetishized throughout and presented mroe as sexual objects. Who has no false airs about them, but we end up caring about them. Throughout no matter what they keep it real.

Their characters are important. As they are barely on screen and used more for erotic scenes than any other. Yet their presence can be felt when they are not on screen after their introductions.

They are one of the few times the film becomes of interest.

The film has the writer of the novel that it is based on appearing in trippy scenes as the mirror version of the main character as an inside joke.

This makes sense as this seems like a project that was greenlit and rushed into production upon a popular best-seller at the time in France.

The film seems to occasionally try to redeem itself while occasionally being interesting due to the practical visual effects.

As the film is a tragedy where like all advertising tries to show and distract like it’s all good and then you truly find out what has been behind it all. What it was afraid to tell and show. Where it tries to show depth and where a reckless life of excess Can lead to, unlike most films that see characters screw up and be likable. Then end up paying little penance yet stay the same only now paid for their crimes… Almost instead it offers many fake-out endings that feel cruel and mean-spirited also like the film has tried to point out and manipulate the whole time. As that is what it was made for.

Though it does have a revenge comeuppance for who the film sees as even worse and makes sure we do too.

The whole point of this film seems to be exposing the business and going back to basics, but even that offers a twist. That would go along with Miserables, overwrought cinema seeking to be daring.

The film offers plenty of natural beauty in the end compared to all the ugliness we have seen throughout.

It seems to end with a choose your own adventure ambiguous ending. That lets You decide but acknowledges itself as a product.

Grade: C

ARE WE NOT CATS (2016)

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Written & Directed By: Xander Robin  Cinematography: Matt Clegg  Editor: Xander Robin & Dustin Waldman

Cast: Chelsea Lopez, Michael Godere, Michael Patrick Nicholson, Charles Gould, Adeline Thery, Alice Frank, Dean Haletermann 

After losing his job, girlfriend, and home in a single day, a desperate thirty-something accepts a delivery job in a remote upstate backwater. There he meets a beguiling and mysterious young woman with whom he shares a strange obsession.

This is one of those films that counts on you going in blind. As best to experience thought not sure if it is ultimately worth it.

The film at first feels quirky and becomes a junkie drama out of nowhere. As the film has a solid beginning then it seems to get lost throughout the rest of the film. Even when it tries to have a somewhat romantic narrative that is strange. 

The film feels aimless and constantly not about anything except we keep following the leader wherever he goes and pretty soon we are grabbing at straws at any scene where it looks like a story could emerge. As we want to see where this is all going.

As the lead seems pretty simple and clueless most of the time. 

The film eventually offers up enough to keep you interested, but then feels aimless and goes nowhere.

As we meet characters who seem normal but get bizarre as the film goes along and at times it just feels like the film is purposely forcing itself to be strange to try and entice the audience. 

The filmmaking feels well done but ultimately feels confusing on purpose. At one point, the film and its Characters seem to be speaking their own language and the character’s actions make sense only to them.

As a Major point eventually, the characters start sporting hairlines similar to Anjelica Huston’s witch character in the movie THE WITCHES. Because of a shared hair obsession.

This ultimately feels like a student film Thesis with more resources.

GRADE: D

NORMAN LOVES ROSE (1982)

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Written & Directed By: Henri Safran 
Cinematography: Vincent Monton
Editor: Don Saunders 

Cast: Carol Kane, Tony Owen, Barry Otto, David Downer, Warren Mitchell, Sandy Gore, Virginia Hey, Myra De Groot, Louise Pajo

A teenage boy falls hopelessly in love with his new sister-in-law. When she gets pregnant, someone raises the question that he might be the father–a notion he does nothing to discourage.

This is one of those films I remember the poster and box art from video stores that I frequented as a youth. Not blockbusters, more the mom-and-pop independent ones.

Never got to see it as a kid when most interested and remembered but finally recently got to see it. I believe I would have had more patience for it when I was younger. As it basically plays like a young teen fantasy come to life of romancing an older woman who you have a crush on. Only here not only does the dream come true but so do the consequences of that action and they are not all that one would expect.

The main drawing power for this film is that Carol Kane is the star of the film. Which is rare In itself and the production takes place in Australia. Wished she had gotten more lead roles instead of this misfire. As she is a constantly appealing screen presence only misused and wasted in this film. 

The film is supposed to be a comedy yet it’s never really funny and just not that good. Yet very 1980’s with a catchy main theme song. Not only is it in bad taste especially by today’s standards. It’s also very problematic.

A woman having an affair with her husband’s 12-year-old little brother is supposed to be romantic. You can understand the little brother’s actions but you question the woman is she a pedophile? starving for attention that she doesn’t get from her husband? sex crazed due to lack of sexual attention? or just in need to get pregnant. The film never answers that question and leaves the audience to answer a question they really don’t want to.

The film tries to be an ensemble film about a Jewish family but feels like it tries to invent drama where there isn’t in trying to frame it’s main plot. Worse of all it comes off dull.

Can see what the interest might have been at the time, a kind of taboo comedy that luckily doesn’t show but hints at a lot. Though it also makes you wonder who was the audience for this film overall.

As it’s not a teen movie, nor a sex comedy of T and A proportions. Nor is it exploitive, it at least tries to make the relationship look romantic. 

The brother even suspects the wrong person of having an affair due to the infidelity of his business partner. This leads to confusion for his character and ends up being the most abused throughout for very little reason. 

His father actually comes off as the most dramatic and sympathetic. In fact, throughout the film, the only character who seems to have a good head on their shoulders is the brother’s mistress.

The ending shows you the depth of young love and how quickly one can bounce their feelings to a new partner. As he seems to be a serial seducer with his innocence but now worldly ways. While it leaves her husband’s character in a kind of limbo

GRADE: F

CRIME & PUNISHMENT IN SUBURBIA (2000)

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Directed By: Rob Schmidt 

Written By: Larry Gross

Cinematography: Bobby Bukowski 

Editor: Gabriel Wyre 

Cast: Monica Keena, Vincent Kartheiser, James DeBello, Jeffrey Wright, Ellen Barkin, Michael Ironside, Conchata Ferrell, Lucinda Jenney, Marshall Teague, Nicki Aycox, Bonnie Somerville 

This is a contemporary fable loosely based on Fyodor Dostoyevsky’s “Crime and Punishment”. Roseanne is outwardly a perfect and popular teen. However, her image is hiding the abuse at her stepfather’s hands, and she decides to take revenge. The events that follow are a mix of dark humor and an exploration of modern morality as Roseanne faces not only a fellow suburbanite who knows, but her own conscience as well.

This film is better than expected considering its title. As the film is artfully shot with plenty of vivid colors and surreal imagery and scenes.

This is a pulp-ish tale that involves teenagers that sounds like a recipe for disaster but is actually not your typical teen tale. It is told with some thrills but in a mature way.

Where the teens seem more adult and responsible than the adults taking care of them. Though Michael Ironsides is the villain he paints a human under the evil that shows why and how he ended up that way.

Though partially you should feel sorry for Ellen Barkin’s character. She is almost as evil as the monster she runs away from but leaves her daughter to deal with while selfishly escaping while never looking back.

The film is deeper than most audiences might expect. 

The weakness of the film is the same weakness that messed up its marketing. Dooming it to an unforgettable oddity In the home video (at the time) market.

The reason I saw it originally was that it played at the movie theater I was working at. I ended up watching it more than once. As for me, the trailer was hypnotizing and dramatic. 

The film tries to have its cake and eat it too. Appearing dramatic but is filmed as glossy with distracting camera angles and tricks. Plus rapid editing works fewer times than it actually does.

Monica Keena gives haunting beautiful big eyes that convey her emotions. Yet also show the power she has as a seductress for certain characters.

Vincent Kartheiser is off best and yet believable as the boy next door obsessed with her. Sure he has shades of Wes Bentley in AMERICAN BEAUTY (Which this Film seems Inspired by) but this seems a bit more accessible. While it is intoxicating as you watch it. It might be forgettable afterward. As in the end, it becomes too much of an open and shut case though with hints of ambivalence. 

Grade: B-

VIOLET (2014)

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Written & Directed By: Bas Devos

Cinematography: Nicolas Karakatsanis

Editor: Dieter Diependaele

Cast: Cesar De Sutter, Koen De Sutter, Mira Helmer, Brent Minne, Fania Sorel

15-year-old Jesse is the only one who witnessed the stabbing of his friend Jonas. Now he has to face his family and friends form the BMX riders crew and explain the unexplainable – how he feels about it.

If not Into impressionistic and experimental films this is not the film for you.

As it seems as not much happens and everything happens as we watch a young teen come to grips with his feelings about witnessing his friends endlessly get murdered and we see how this murder affects those around him including the victim’s family but not much happens and everything happens

Obviously heavy emotionally we see the pain and feelings on others’ faces but the main. Teen is expressionless either trying to come. To grips with his feelings or trying to feel something as very one is expecting it but doesn’t know howS

If you look, For a more Plot centered film, this is not for you. If you want to watch a study in grief where the film keeps a slow pace and is more about the everyday this is for you.

There are some striking shots and visuals but that is all there is as the film feels simplistic but wants to show a certain depth. It achieves what it aims for and while some might be able to get something or at least what they seek out of it.

It personally leaves one cold. A slice of Life and a sort of coming of age that for a film that showcases life feels lifeless itself. 

As less like witnessing and just watching a bunch of shots comes together that might have been glorious b roll footage for another film. Though at least here it has some kind of meaning for you to take away. Define for yourself 

Plotless and lacking any kind of dramatics at least traditionally almost like improv where you are meant to assign what they are thinking or feeling by little clues as to their expressions or behavior 

Though an audience is left to see the film’s worth. As the film does try to connect but leaves you to pick up the pieces.

So it is almost like the lead character who will not give anyone anything emotionally but as we are connected to him as our protagonist we try to figure him out abs kind of put our own thoughts and concerns on display in our minds 

Some could easily call this lazy filmmaking but the filmmaker is more interested in getting a reaction from the audience that the film lacks by letting visuals and sound linger more than anything documenting with a cinematic flair rather than aiming the story or narrative in any particular way or direction.

Depending on. What you came to the film for Will predict your interpretation or any kind of entertainment/enjoyment you might get.

This is more of a film. To be studied and presented at a museum as an exhibit  than anything else traditional 

Throughout it seems that like the lead, No one Knows how to communicate really. 

Alas it feels like you are sitting around for a scene or a moment where it all makes sense or just idiots that you have been sitting through and it never comes 

A lot of lingering shots of nothing really happening that individuals come to nothing but as a whole might come together to mean something or at least that is my interpretation. 

A Movie that director Gus Van Sant would have loved to have made. A movie where it seems like the filmmaker wants you to do most of the work like CACHE.

As this is just a presentation and they want you to come up with what you think it’s about and connect things in your own way

Grade: C